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Monthly Archives: November 2012

I haven’t touched base in a while but I ended up going to see a naturopath for my fatigue and swollen glands.

The first thing she did was take a picture of my eyeball. It’s called Iridology. From my eyeball she was able to tell me that I had diabetes, there were problems with my stomach and kidneys and this was all before I was able to give her my health history. It was like visiting a psychic but instead of telling you about your future, it diagnoses medical issues. Because of my diabetes, I know that there is something wrong with my kidneys, as everyones kidneys fuck up with diabetes.

So we continued analyising my health and then bam an hour was up. From this hour I ended up spending $110 on magnesium tablets for my stress and fatigue, Vitamin D drops and probiotics for my stomach.

Then she told me to cut out wheat as wheat is bulky and supposebly bad. I was sad because I love bread, I love biscuits, I love pasta. Turns out I can still eat bread it just dosent have to contain wheat in it. Secondly she said I should eat for my blood type. I had heard of these fad blood type diets but supposebly they work. So here I will be trying to clean eat because it is one of the last resorts I have before going absolutely gaga.

On a side note I know it may be a placebo effect but after taking the vitamins this morning I did feel I had energy and I didn’t even have to take a berocca (which i also have to cut out).

So here to a few weeks of wheat free recipes and vitamins

I guess part of a gap year entails relationships. Well I guess it’s part of the journey. 

Isn’t it polite that if you are to cancel plans, you notify said recipient/waiter/me and make them not look like a douche bag spending their Friday night by the telephone waiting to hear from you? 

Is this a test? To see where the relationship is going or is it because your telephone legitamley went flat and being part of the male persona where organisational skills are below par you didn’t jot down my number and text off a friends phone. I just think its manners. I don’t want to be a booty call because to me if you messages after 11pm you dont want to see me, you want to see my booty.

Lucky for me this story dosent end depressingly because turns out I have friends, good friends and I went to her house and we watched movies and she let me eat gummy bears and warned me not to eat too much and let me bitch and moan. That’s what true friends really are.

I have realised what’s happening. I’m falling into a depression again, though the reasoning behind it is why?

Why am I feeling like this? I should be happy, I have finished uni, I’m going overseas, it was my birthday, I have friends, I have found a boy I like. Life is supposed to feel good. Yet here I am crying, having a sense of feeling overwhelmed about life and everything.

Am I overwhelmed because I don’t know what I feel about boy? Am I overwhelmed about me being sick for the past couple of weeks and not looking after my diabetes.

I’m falling into a hole and I’m finding it difficult to get out and I don’t know what to do.

I have been going a bit crazy the last couple of days but today I have decided to post my favourite jokes. Now many of my friends think my jokes are silly and when they laugh I’m not sure if they are laughing at me or at my jokes. But here are a few that I like:

What do you call a deer with no eyes?             No eye deer

Why is there no pain relief in the rainforest?     Because the parrots-eat-them-all

Two atoms walk down the street when the first atom goes to the second atom, “I think I’ve lost an electron.”. The second atom goes to the first atom “How can you be sure?”. “I’m positive”.

Why did carbon marry hydrogen? Because they bonded so well.

Why was 7 scared of 9? Because 7,8,9

Two men walked into a bar. The first man asked from some H2O. The second man asked from some H2O2 and died.

Ok so these are like my top five, mainly nerdy jokes but oh well what can you say yolo?

Comedian job opportunities come at me 🙂

I am going through something and I don’t know what it is. It scares me when I can’t name emotions. It makes me go back to the days when I was visiting a psychologist and she was telling me to name my emotions. This emotion, what I’m going through right now, I can’t.

I don’t even know why I am feeling this way, I should be feeling relaxed, carefree, grateful that I don’t have anymore exams yet here I am unable to describe what I am going through and it scares me and I don’t know what to do.

This blog wasn’t intended for me to write about my sad,bad, confused times, it was supposed to be about my times exploring my gap year and having crazy shenanigans, yet here I am day 3 of another depressing rant. In turn I’m using this blog as a gateway to my emotions and I don’t know if that’s what I want to do, but on the other hand it’s better letting this all out than keeping it bottled inside, right?

I work at an aged care home as a personal assistant. I like it as I find I learn something new every day and caring for these residents I find rewarding. Some days are hard, some days are good.

I have found that the place I work at there is a lot of bitching/gossiping, call me naive but I thought this would be a place where bitching/gossiping would be a bare minimum, its team work based. Well that’s what I thought until today when firstly I got told one of the rooms I looked after a bed wasn’t made by 9am. The reason the bed wasn’t made was because I had another resident in my group who was really ill and I forgot. Now this might seem small and a silly reason to get written up by, but if I saw someone whose bed wasn’t made and it wasn’t my groups and I wasn’t doing anything I’d go make it or if someones socks weren’t on I’d go put there socks on because I am part of a team  I wouldn’t go bitch to the other co-workers that blah blah didn’t do this, I’d help out. Anyway that was the start of my good day but it gets better.

We have a resident who is on their end of life plan and they were clearly in an uncomfortable position, having buzzed saying that they were in pain, I attempted to reposition him myself. Seeming that working by myself wasn’t working, I called upon one of the more ‘experienced’ ladies who also is quite scary. She quite willingly assisted but made it clear things had to be done her way. Firstly the way she used the slide sheet was wrong and we were hurting our backs, because we ended up lifting him up the bed, secondly I got told that I was not strong enough to lift this resident. Thirdly the poor resident was in a worse of position than he was before. I was not content and went to find someone else, I did and in the end we got this resident comfortable and did it in the correct manner, telling the lady that helped me what had happened her response to me was “She’s just more experienced and there’s nothing you can do.”

It’s my fault stewing on this now really, I should have gone up to the head nurse and told her what had happened, and how she pretty much man handled the resident. Things have to change, I should’ve spoken it was wrong to handle a situation like that and I definitely know in nursing school that we are taught the right way to position ourselves and the residents to make them more comfortable, in a manner that will protect us and the resident. I should learn to be stronger and voice what is wrong. I am the new generation in this field, things need to change, we should all be a team and help each other out.

 

I’m sick, not just a blergh stomach bug, but I chronic illness. I have Type 1 diabetes. I’ve had it for nearly 7 years, yet why haven’t I learnt to look after myself yet. I know I have it, yet I try to hide it. With an insulin pump I thought it was easier, it’s not.

I’d rather go out and get drunk on weekends, which I do and not check my blood sugar levels because even though my meter is small it still takes up a lot of room in my bag. I know when I go to the endo I will get into trouble.

I know that with my lifestyle right now, I’m at risk of all the complications. But I choose to ignore it, Why am I so lazy and putting my life into jeopardy?

I have a support network in a way, my friends are there for me, my family have chosen not to speak to me about it. But yet I’m still lazy?

How can I make myself unlazy?

 

Therefore I’m going to end this rant now. Goodbye